Thursday, February 23, 2012

Blessed be Your Name

Do you have one song that stirs a myriad of emotions that just hits so hard to the heart that you are brought to tears every time you hear it? I do. Oh man, do I ever.
The song "Blessed be Your Name" by Matt Redman is that song for me.

Blessed Be Your Name

Blessed be Your name
In the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
When I'm found in that desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name
When the sun's shining down on me
When the world's all as it should be
Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out
I'll turn back to praise
When the darkness closes in, Lord
Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

Here's a little background on why this song stings a little, hurts a little, but overwhelmingly comforts me. Back in August of 2003, Michael and I found out we were expecting our first little one. I remember driving down the street and making sure my seat belt was on correctly... just in case. I remember looking up the list of food pregnant women weren't supposed to eat…just in case. I remember not lifting anything heavy…just in case. Well, those "just in case" moments became a reality. I "lost" that first baby. The sadness and fear and desperation one feels through a miscarriage is so painful. So, so painful. I lost that first baby over Labor Day weekend of 2003. That Sunday, this song was sung. Now, every time I hear this song, my heart and mind go straight back to that youth service and Woodmen Valley Chapel. No one but Michael knew what my heart (and his) was going through. No one knew that just days before life was growing in my womb. No one knew the physical pain I was in, the heart pain, the forever pain associated with this loss. Unfortunately, I had to go through this pain twice more after that first time. And each time I was reminded...

You give and take away
You give and take away
My heart will choose to say
Lord, blessed be Your name

"All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be."
Psalm 139:16

Lord, my heart will choose to say blessed be Your name. You knew. You knew that three of the babies you knit in my womb would only have a few days there. You give and take away. You gave me four precious treasures to raise up in You. You took away three, and only You know why. But every time You took, You taught this heart something. So in that, Lord, blessed be Your name.

{Our first born…Drew}
*Not sure why I don't have a baby of him in the OR with me!*


{Our second born…Noah}


{Our third born…Isaac}


{And our last…the little princess…Lindley}


{One of the first pictures of all four of my living treasures…}

2 comments:

Lauren said...

Oh my, the tears are a'flowin.

In all seriousness, though, this is so moving. I have never experienced a loss even close to what you (and Michael) went through, but I am thankful for your words so that, even now, my heart is preparing for anything the Lord may take away...

I love you.

lindley said...

Oh Mandy!! How I know!! And how the unknown of what could still be taken away scares me, I know to live trusting Him and returning praises to Him!
Thank you for sharing your heart!!
love you!