Monday, December 14, 2015

So long, Facebook...

About two weeks I followed through on a desire I've had for a long, long time.  I removed the Facebook App from my phone.  This is a big deal.  A big deal.  I love loved Facebook for so long.  I loved that I could keep up with my family since we are all dispersed from Texas.  I loved to see pictures of my nieces and nephews and cousins and aunts and uncles.  I loved that my parents are on Facebook.   I loved catching up with old friends from high school, from college, from our youth group in Texas, from our time in Michigan, from the past eight years. Eight years.  I joined Facebook back in 2007.  Back when we all updated our status in third person.  Back when people didn't know exactly what to do with social media, so everyone posted what they had for lunch.  Or dinner.  Or both.  But the evolution of Facebook has really been a struggle for me.

I find that I can sit (on my couch, at the kitchen table, while cooking dinner, at red lights…any time and anywhere) and scroll through the news feed indefinitely.  It is never ending.  It's what I call a huge TIME SUCK.  And man, do I get sucked in.  I can lay in bed at night, waiting for sleep to overtake my body and mind, and before I know it, an hour has passed.  An hour.  I like sleep.  I need sleep.  I want sleep.  Not to be on my phone.

Facebook has also turned in a place for people to express their views on everything: politics, religion, social issues, media spats.  And honestly, I hate it.  I'd much rather know what friends' had for lunch than to hear how just because I don't agree with which side of the fence they fall on, I'm a horrible, ignorant, intolerant person.  Because I'm not.  Not even close.  For awhile I found value in listening to the opinions and views of those I don't understand or agree with.  But then it slowly started to become hateful, and "love in sharing" was not displayed.  And my heart just got tired.  Sick of the disputes.  Sick of the name calling.  Sick of hurting over the hearts of others.  The word that come to mind is DIVISIVE.  I feel like social media has done a great job of dividing our country more than ever before. I like my people, my friends.  Even if I don't agree with them.  And I'd rather protect my heart in real life relationships than become angry and sad and hurt by what I read and not truly understand the intent behind a post.

And here's the big one.  I do not find my SELF-WORTH in Facebook.  And this is new to me.  By nature, I am a words of affirmation type of person.  Tell me something good about me: my cooking, my outfit, my children, my shared thoughts, my way of dealing, and I will hang on to that for a long time.  It's easy to fill my love tank…just tell me something I did well and my cup overflows. :)  So if this is my personality, one can only imagine how Facebook could really feed into this.  Post a status, boom…instant affirmation, instant conversation.  I remember I once posted a status about 'oleo'….it's butter, or maybe margarine, I don't remember.  However, that status brought so much conversation.  Cracked me up.  I have a little game I play with my brother.  I post a picture, he texts me and says, "You think you're (the pic) going to get + or - 100?"  Now, that means is the picture going to get 100+ 'likes' or not.  Seriously.  Pathetic, huh?  There have also been times that I'll post something, get plenty of 'likes' and then look through that list to see if so-and-so liked it.  Oh man.  That is an issue.  And that is why I have had to change my mindset and remind myself…I do not and will not find my SELF-WORTH in Facebook.

My mom was not happy that I took Facebook off of my phone.  She told me to put it back on and to discipline myself.  I so wish I could do that!  I've tried.  I've put time limits on myself.  That failed.  I've hidden the app so it isn't so accessible.  That also failed.  I've committed to only checking it at night.  That really failed…interrupted my sleeping habits big time.  So for now, this is the answer.  I have not deleted my account.  Nor will I.  Occasionally I will hop on and do a little catching up when I'm sitting at my computer.  But I will no longer let it be a huge TIME SUCK for me.  I have way more important ways to focus my heart, mind, and attention.  I will no longer be angry, hurt, sad, or confused by DIVISIVE posts.  Especially until after November 2016. :)  And I will no longer use Facebook to define my SELF WORTH.  That is found in Jesus and Jesus alone. :)  To appease my Mom, I told her that anything I wish to post on Facebook, I will now post on my blog.   I think that helped.  She really likes seeing pictures of her grandchildren…and who could blame her?!

10 comments:

Jennifer McCandless said...

Love this!

amouse12 said...

I have been contemplating doing this as well. Kudos to you for taking the step! Merry Christmas Fernihoughs!

Anonymous said...

Great thoughts Mandy! Where is the like button here? ;)
Ben

Jennifer Acquaviva said...

Well said! Couldn't agree more!

Corey White said...

my wife did the same thing. she didn't really stay on Facebook that much but the constant barrage political talk and actual intolerance going on from articles people posted and comments ruined it. Ekua just goes to the website if she wants to get updates. One of my favorite scriptures...
“For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age,”
‭‭Titus‬ ‭2:11-12‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Paula Hardeman said...

Good for you. I have been struggling with the same thing. I like that I get "see" my family and friends but I am sick and tired of the negativity. I have had several other friends that have started unfollowing people or have logged out of facebook. Proud of you!

Michelle said...

So good! Agreed! Good for you!

Jennifer said...

So good to hear your thoughts. I took the plunge of deleting it off my phone last summer... after not wanting to (but feeling convicted to for weeks). And, after I finally did it... it was freeing. Seriously. after the "withdrawls" of what to do before i go to bed or at the stop light etc, i found other things to occupy myself and was definitely more present and engaged. what i really found more true is that my mind was more clear and my heart ached less and i compared myself less and less. i felt more self confident in who i am instead of wondering if i should be doing this or that. i got back on about a month ago and am already feeling sucked in by it. the compromise of checking in every so often on my computer is a good way to handle it. i don't want to sit too long there so it forces me to be more limited. thanks for the honesty and just wanted to say i relate. deleting it off my phone now. you've inspired me. miss you all and hope life in CO is treating you well! jenn

Andy said...

Like

Andy said...

In all seriousness, I do like this. I don't post much to Facebook due to so many work folks I'm "friends" with. I have to be careful to not "insult" a customer or coworker....easy to do this day in age. I mainly just lurk a couple times a day, but it's all really senseless and mindless.

After reading this, I'm going to delete the app as well. Kinda like putting the cookies in a hard to reach spot...gonna take some effort to get there and I might not want to deal with it